Help! My Kids Hate Me!

I find myself down in the gutter quite often at work, because some days I just feel like I can’t do anything right! Whether it’s the sandwich isn’t cut the right way or the house isn’t clean when it’s time to go home, or we just don’t get out the door at the right time, some days I just can’t win. But the worst days are the days when the kids scream “I hate you” or “go away”. They may be small but those phrases coming from someone you love so much are powerful. They hurt, but I have to remind myself that they don’t truly come from a place of hate, they come from a place of situational anger. Children, especially younger ones cannot deal with big emotions like adults can. They blow their tops any time they get frustrated because we do not understand them or cannot give them what they want. They lash out in this way because, when you’re a toddler throwing a tantrum is what you do! Remember, it’s ok for the tantrum to happen at this age they are expressing themselves in the only way they know how. Remember that you as a nanny are doing the best you can, DO NOT beat your self up just because your kids are not happy 24/7. If they were happy all of the time, odds are you’re not doing your job right. They need to know boundries, no means no. If you find yourself in this position and have no idea what to do here’s what I do 1. Remove the child from the situation If we are eating then remove them from the table, if we are in the living room move them to another area of the house where ever you are just remove them from the situation. 2. Pull the child aside and tell them they need to calm down, but in a calm cool tone This part is important, because if you are not calm and cool your child won’t be either. 3. Tell them they need to sit in a corner, next to you, on a chair etc…until the time goes off This part is far more flexible. I use this “time out” not as a punishment but as time for them to calm down without too much stimulation. For the length of time I start with the age of the child equals the amount of minutes they stay there, but often times I adjust the time depending on how long it takes for them to calm down stop crying and after I’m cooled down. You being calm and cool is important in the next step. You don’t want to go into the next step still riled up 4. Time for a conversation No matter the age of the child there is always a benefit to a sit down one on one conversation about their actions. Ask them if they know why they were in time out and talk to them about ways they could improve for next time 5. Always end on a high note I ask for a high five or a hug and then I tell them I love them then to go play This works for me any my family but there are so many ways to productively diffuse situations like this. Remember nannies, you’ve got this you’re doing awesome and they do like you I promise, today’s just being a hard day tomorrow will be better. Hang in there nannies tomorrow will be a better day. 🙂

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