Thoughts On The World


Moving away from my family was one of the toughest things I have ever done. Not only was I moving out of my parents house for the first time in my life, but I was moving 1500 miles south! I was lucky enough to have my grandma along for the ride down, and I really truly am grateful that she came along, because she not only kept me company for the nearly 2 weeks it took us to get to southern California and find an apartment, but we became a lot closer and now share some of my most treasured memories. As a girl who grew up on a farm in a relatively small town, southern California was a really big change for me,(I am still amazed that they deliver just about anything you could ever want directly to your door here!!!) as I am used to pine trees, snow, and wide open spaces and California has palm trees, sandy beaches and buildings taller than any I’ve ever seen! Needless to say it was a very big adjustment.

Moving away from my family was really difficult. I had only been back in the country for a few months after a volunteer trip overseas, and my dad had just gotten married to my step mother so we (my dad, my step mother, my sister, my step sister, my step brother and I) were just getting adjusted to life in the big house together. My dad was so extremely supportive of the move, he was with me every step of the way, and for that I am grateful because other people I knew who were supposed to be there for me, weren’t so supportive and tried to talk me out of it, telling me I was making a mistake, or that I wouldn’t be able to make it down here. Luckily I followed my heart and I’m doing just fine! My first few months here were a pretty lonely time in my life. I had an aunt who lived near by but other than her, I knew nobody in this big lonely city. I had never felt so alone in my life.

I was depressed for a really long time, and I didn’t have anyone I could really confide in because I felt like I had to confident, happy, and well-adjusted all the time. I felt that if I told the people around me in my life how I really felt, they would think i was a failure and that i wasn’t cut out for what i was doing. When i finally did confide in someone about what was going on i felt a tremendous amount of relief wash over me because for once, in the six months i had lived here i wasn’t carrying my burden alone.

As time went on, I made some truly wonderful friends, started working at my local church, and have had so many amazing experiences that I will never forget. I was blessed when a local church contacted me to start working in their nursery. I knew I was missing something in my life but I couldn’t quite figure it out, and when they contacted me I realized i was missing my relationship with Jesus! I am truly beyond grateful to them for bringing that relationship back into my life. His word helped bring me out of a dark time in my life and without that relationship I’m really not sure where i would be.

Moving so far away was, in the long run, really good for my self-esteem. it made me believe I could conquer any challenge thrown at me even if I was alone or frightened. I’ve had my car die on me in the middle of the night, been lost without a GPS and even had some terrible roommate situations in my time here just to name a few. I came out on top in each situation and learned something new from every hurdle I’ve been thrown.

I am not sure I was prepared for what I would encounter when moving so far from the once place i had ever truly called home, but im thankful i pushed myself off the ledge, thankful that i jumped without even thinking. sometimes all you need in life is to just go. Go out there and do it, dont let thinking get in the way of everything! When your heart is telling you to go sometimes the best thing you can do is listen.

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